The above quote it what inspired me to create this blog post. I've experienced many many times when parents are constantly telling their children what they're going to be,when they're going to be it,how they're going to be it,etc. I think that this is a major problem in my community as well as many other Muslim communities.
Parents are always telling their children how they pray everyday that they have a better life than they did and do. The question here is,do they take it to the extreme at times? By telling you're child you want them to live a better life than yours;shouldn't you be a supporter of their decisions, as long as it doesn't go against your beliefs.
When a child is young shouldn't a parent allow that child the opportunity to experience different things instead of forcing him/her to read Qur'an day and night. I understand that the Qur'an is a guideline to how we should live our lives as Muslims;but I think that we tend to forget that the memorization of the Qur'an isn't only Islam. Sometimes parents force their children into Madrasa's to study Qu'ran and only that. They don't want them to break it into parts. Parts as in study a little Qur'an, study hadeeths,read translations of the ayah's they memorize,and more. I actually know a Hafiz who sort of doesn't act the way some may expect a Hafiz to act. When someone pointed this out to him he said "I'm not ready to be an Imam yet." His answer did indeed confuse me a little. Why? What I was wondering was what did he mean? That although he knows the entire Qur'an since he isn't an Imam and isn't ready to become an one he's allowed to act different from those who are? I've always thought one should learn Qur'an and Islamic Studies in order to go out and inspire others. In my opinion his answer was caused by not breaking the teachings into sessions or different parts. One should know what he's reading when reading it. Someone should not be memorizing the Qur'an just to build their confidence,it is then not done in the cause of Allah.
I remember when I first started telling my family I want to become an attorney. They we're always telling me why do I want to be an attorney? Attorney's are liars,cheaters,all of that. I did feel like they weren't accepting me in a way. Why? Because I am a girl whose all for justice,likes to defend myself and others with my speech. That was honestly the point in my life where I started becoming this gloomy,depressed person. I'm out of that stage now but it will always be a part of me. I will always question why didn't my mom and dad support me? Why did they want me to be something other than what I truly wanted to be?
Although occupation is a huge part of this problem it certainly isn't the only one. Another major one is the dress code of women in my religion. As many of us know the dress code of women is one of the things that's really stressed in Islam. A lot of times parents yell at their daughters for not wearing Abaya's and/or Jilbab's. They call their daughters out of their names. The girls will be modestly dressed in skirts and shirts,or loose pants and shirts,but the parents won't care they strictly want them in abaya's and Jilbab's ONLY! They won't have hadeeth proving what their saying but to them since they're the parents they're right.
Are our Imam's not telling you all everyday to let you're child be a child. As long as they're not going against the religion allow them to experience different things. To me experience is one of the many things that forms a person. Without experience people will rarely ever learn. I'm going to end this blog with a poem a wrote.
Would you ever see me as your number one priority?